I wonder.....

So there seems to be a trend in my life, and it goes a little like this......

I find that being an only child, I crave attention from men. Not in a sexual way, but I just need to be accepted by them. I get rather attached to them very quickly. I know I do it, but I can't help it. I do it all the time...... and after I let my wall down, they move on or get "bored". Or I freak myself out... or do something that drives them away.  Earlier in the year, I had this friend, and I really liked him. I thought that I wasn't good enough for him though. He is a year older than me, and seems to be way more mature than me, and I didn't want him to think that he had to babysit me. Seee what I do. I make up these things in my own mind to make them not like me. I just got out of this 4 month " thing" if you will, and now I feel as hurt as ever. Mostly because I have to see him everyday, and I see him with this new girl, and she is amazing at everything she does. She is beautiful, tan, long hair, dresses well, and everyone seems to praise the ground she walks on. Anyways..... I wonder if I just give up, and stop looking what will happen.....

Take my Heart

Layin in the grass lookin up at the sky,

dreamin of yesterday and askin God why...

Why does it hurt so bad to remember the past,

i'm tryin to mend a broken heart from repairin itself to fast....

Why does the rain always know when to fall...

how is it that he can make me feel so small?

Why does everything always end up wrong, when you think its goin right,

when you think you had it made, everything fit,

now it's all startin to fade.

Why oh why do I feel like this,

if I had a wish, I would ask God this...

...Take my heart so I don't have to feel, so I don't have to cry,

so i don't have to love.

The sun's gone down, the grass is cold,

the stars are faint in the sky above.

I close my eyes so the tears can't escape,

Why God why did I

fall in love...

Please take my heart so I don't have to feel,

So I don't have to cry,

So I don't have to love...

Please God please, just take my heart...

       By: Me

I just love people!!!

Sooooo I'm supposed to be in class right now.. or writing a paper... yaaaa not gonna happen. the rough draft isn't due until friday, so I'll do it on Thursday night. Sounds good to me.

Soooo life....well, yesterday I was confronted my my acting professor, and he informs me that people have been talking about me behind my back, and saying that i'm a bit of a "PRE-MADONNA" welll huh. That's interesting.....i guess i thought being really shy, and never complementing myself, and getting bright red and flustered when people pay me compliments was be being well, not primadonna. Whomever is saying these things these things should come and talk to me, NOT doc. But whatever.. I just guess people aren't as smart as me. haha got ya.

Anywaays....there is still drama on the homefront, so i'm glad i don't 'live' there really anymore. I just wouldn't be able to take it really. I'm kinda done with all that. I just don't care anymore.

Whatever....I guess I will talk to you all again sometime...like in 2 months or so.

peace out G-money.

Sara

YAY!!!!!

Sorry Xanga..... I kinda forgot about you........    :(